Working with glass is a constructive place where I unpack my life as a veteran, to collect evidence from military service and investigate how those experiences impact human life. When I am holding army gear I used to wear or carry, these objects now act as a trigger connecting me back into a specific memory.

I feel like it’s just a matter of time before we lose another soldier from my former Battalion, the infamous “Tweezy” or hearing about a suicide from another branch of military service. I decided to write a poem contemplating the difficult thoughts and questions someone may have, before falling down a proverbial rabbit hole. A dark, isolating, destructive path that eventually leads them to suicide. Why is this silent epidemic having great success? What could I possibly say, or create, that helps deviate someone in need of change?

This Pate de Verre work is a raw and realistic sculpture created from blue painters’ tape, the army extreme cold weather mask, the army combat shirt, copper, and powder coated steel. The penetrating spikes atop the head are bold reminders about the twenty-two Americans that die each day from suicide.

A stigma is known to lead to further problems such as anxieties and depression, causing someone’s mental health concerns to worsen and delay, even stopping them all together from getting a form of help.

In many ways, undisclosed and untreated service members are still struggling with Mental Health. The proof is in the overwhelming suicide statistics and the numbers continue to rise. According to the United Service Organization, or USO, their studies point to PTSD as a precipitating factor of suicide. Recent data in 2021, found that 30,177 active duty and veterans who served in the military after 9/11 have died by suicide, compared to the 7,057 who died in combat. This spans over the 20-year war in the Middle East.

Sykes Regulars are a group of resolute infantry personnel who deployed and fought throughout the longstanding wars in the Middle East. This work reflects the selfless service and sacrifice of those who answered the call to duty after 9/11, defending our liberties and freedoms for the United States.

I was the Master Trainer for Improvised Explosive Devices in Afghanistan for approximately 600 soldiers. Our Team was to set up and train soldiers in a very short time period. Just three days after the training I received, I nearly reached out and detonated an IED. Just an arm’s length away.

One day, I was searching through my old army duffel bags and digging out objects from years of storage, possessions returning to life as visceral reminders of deployment and war.

This helped me gain access to my feelings, while understanding who I have become after military service. In my bag, I discovered an Emergency Trauma Dressing. A device used to save lives on the battlefield, for immediate application to the body when gravely wounded.

I wanted to expand its uses and apply as a Mental Health aid, raising awareness while recovering and working through Post Traumatic Stress.

Presented in the glass casting techniques of Pate de Verre and combined with objects worn in combat, this helmet triptych "Contagion Effect" sequentially reflects the before, during, and aftereffects from military service. This Army Combat Helmet now transformed into glass, supplies delicate insight into individual stories and personal challenges of service, combat deployments, and veteran life.

While trekking through Afghanistan during combat operations, American Saints wear boots like these … propelling them towards the eminent threat of death. Savage enemies infect the battlefield with Improvised Explosive Devises.

In my practice, I am using objects to recall deployment memories and one day I discovered the Von Restorff Effect. It is discussing the “mnemonic-object” method, asking you to displace a familiar object to an unfamiliar context. “This will intentionally trigger the recall of memory when that out of place object is seen again.”

While serving in Afghanistan, one of my jobs was to educate soldiers about improvised explosive devices. I encountered my first IED up close just days after the leaders training that saved my life. This helmet is conveying the feelings of what that IED exploding up into in my face, may have felt like.

Reflecting back on deployments and the zipping sounds of gunfire passing by, I realized the actual fragility of my helmet if impacted by enemy rounds, it might fragment or break, like glass. This is the first Pate de Verre helmet I have made, representing the delicacy of a soldier’s mental health post experience and how to understand what those memories and feelings are like today.